Favorite Friday: Road House

Let me say something to you, in the dark abyss that is the USA channel at 3 in the morning:

"Road House"

Does your heart fill with joy, anticipation and overall good will? No? Good. Because it should be full of awesome. 

I know it has been awhile. 

I realize now that my penchant for blood cannot be abated so I must continue this savory (and slightly masochistic) blog to the best of my ability—with new and improved flavor now that I have finally graduated from college. 

No I am not simply bored because I don’t have homework anymore.

Ok maybe that might be why. But still.

Ahem. Just keep reading.

So anyway…Road House.

Road House is probably the best movie on the planet and here is why:

1. The Hair
2. The Dialogue
3. Sam Elliot
4.  Patrick Swayze’s Rockin' Bod

1) Hair: This movie was released in 1989, the end of an era where "most" came to mean "better" regarding just about everything from shoulder pads and cocaine to neon lights, Reaganomics and androgyny.  One such phenomena involved an obsequious amount of hair spray. 

YOU SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR

I AM FACINATED BY THIS CREATURE. Mostly because it is a struggle from me to contemplate how after what must have been an entire bottle of aqua net her stylist went “hmm…nope gotta get more height.” Bitch’s hair sticks straight the fuck out completely sideways.  Completely blows my mind.  Having said that, Ms. Lynch was far from the only victim of CFC addiction as much of the cast shared her choice of hairstyle

2) The Dialogue: The dialogue is something that makes this movie not just good, but great. How do I know this? Because regular people know the words to this movie. I can walk up to someone and say "I thought you'd be bigger" and they know what the hell I'm talking about.  Beyond its quotability, the film has in it of itself a simplicity that many of today's action flicks lack.  While it does little in the way of massive explosions (though there is at least one, come on it was the 80s), it makes up for with a fluid manner of conveying a message with a hokey kind of charm that makes you stop to watch it while flipping through channels.  Without being preachy it commentates on the problems inherent within capitalist markets while also clearly suggesting how with a strength and bravery the small and righteous can overcome the big and evil.  All the while kicking ass, taking names and punching people in the face. 

He's not holding his hand. He's going to kill that man

3) Sam Elliot: Now if you don't know who Sam Elliot is, I am sorry but we cannot be friends.  No wait, let me educate you. Don't worry, I'll be gentle.  Sam Elliot or OMG I LOVE SAM ELLIOT as he's known in my house, is perhaps best known (at least to the less film-inclined) for his voice over role in the "Beef, it's what's for dinner" commercials of the late 90s.  In addition to this he notably appears in Tombstone (Virgil Earp, older brother of Kurt Russell's character) and most recently he appeared in the first Ghost Rider movie (Nicolas Cage's mentor).  His silky sweet make-your-uterus-hum-like-an-oboe-being-tuned voice contributes heartily to his recognizable persona but more than anything his stage presence makes him a force to be reckoned with.  Capable of comedy, passion and badassry in general, Sam Elliot exudes a presence in Road House similar to Mr. Miyagi or Master Po,  but with a cowboy flair and really awesome silver hair.

4) Patrick Swayze's Rockin' Bod: Now anyone who is anyone with a brain cell or two left in their skull knows that Patrick Swayze's bod is primo in regards to writing checks for ass-kicking.  And Road House does much to showcase said bod. Whether he's doing tai chi, mixed martial arts or making sweet love, Patrick Swayze's rockin' bod does much to restore faith in home grown American action heroes for those of us forced to outsource badassry to Asian markets (rather like our automobile industry).  He takes on guys twice his size, he saves women from bad situations, he grabs drunks, he fires bad bartenders, he is nice...until its time to not be nice.  


Much of what makes Road House good makes it bad according purported as film industry "experts."  (When it was released Siskell and Ebert gave the film two thumbs down.) The film is cheesy, the story line is decidedly shallow and overall there is a goofy quality to it that detracts from any real seriousness regarding violence or destruction.  However, with the understanding that the film is truly meant as entertainment and as a classic example of 80s action cinema, one can see Road House as yet another cult film worthy of enjoying a spot on broadcast television's late night lineup.  

I know this post is short...you'd thought it be bigger right?

had to fit one in there.

enjoy!