Favorite Friday: Shaun of the Dead

   Ladies and Gentlemen: SHAUN OF THE DEAD

It's come to my attention that my favorites have become a little top heavy with the attractive undead and kickass living. So I've decided to even it out a bit with extremely unattractive undead, mostly to go with the upcoming Halloween season.



 

Funny as Hell



  I belong to a little group known as Zombiephobic's Anonymous or ZA.

Okay so that's a lie. There is no such thing as Zombiephobic's Anonymous or if there is it is so anonymous I don't know about it.

Anyway....as a young human I went through a phase where anything that remotely looked like a zombie scared the living crap out of me. This coupled with an overactive anxiety organ somewhere in my extremely irrational brain led me to hiding survival kits in the bathrooms of my house (and other people's houses....yeah I was weird). Part of my rehabilitation (coupled with a year of therapy) was a slow introduction into zombie media by my ever patient, zombie-snob of a boyfriend Patrick.

There's a point to this, I promise.

One of the earliest movies I could really stand was Shaun of the Dead. 

For some reason the combination of ridiculously amusing comedy and gory zombie flick didn't scare me. And ever since I have truly enjoyed the film.

  The reason zombie aficionados and regular movie-goers alike love Shaun of the Dead is because of the writing acumen and zombie-tastic obsession of those who created the film.


Yeah those are brain cupcakes


   It's like eating a cupcake made by a person who both is a great chef and really really loves cupcakes.

  The main character is a 28-year-old aimless department store salesmen named Shaun (Simon Pegg, who also co-wrote the script) whose personal troubles involving girlfriend Liz (Kate Ashfield), stepfather Philip (Bill Nighy), roommate Pete (Peter Serafinowicz, who voiced Darth Maul in Star Wars Phantom Menace) and best friend Ed (Nick Frost) coincide with the sudden onslaught of legions of the undead. He must save the people he loves and get his shit together all the while avoiding flesh-hungry zombies. It's like a funny Hugh Grant movie. With Zombies.



I'd kill the hipster zombies first



   First things first. The movie is just plain funny. The deft handling of comedic timing coupled with perfectly delicious gore and violence leaves one giggling constantly between groans of grossed out pleasure. It's witty comment plus gross out moment consistently keeping you entertained by double-teaming you with gore, violence, slapstick (or slap cricket bat) and sarcastic comments.

What makes the film even better is that its a zombie movie for REGULAR PEOPLE. We don't have Uzis and RPGs and tricked-out chain saws. We have cue sticks! We have bats! We scream like a girl when one-armed undead assailants enter our living room! As I watch this film it is like I know these people. You should know them too!!We all know a pretentious douche like "Pete" or a nice-guy lazy bum like "Shaun" or a stupid childish "Ed." But it is this familiarity that draws us into this film and makes it a zombie movie for the people, by the people. It's like the United States of Undead. It takes the movie to another level. Rooting for the dumb stoner character who knows how to survive from video games or revelling when the annoyingly bitchy guy gets eaten takes the film from "scary escapist entertainment" to "pleasantly gross roller coaster ride with some of your best friends." 



Um....Shaun....there are...oh you'll figure it out...



   Beyond its simple premise, the movie is both an homage to zombie films and a part of what has become the Zombie Renaissance in the last 6 years. It represents a culmination of a serious reinterest in zombie media that over the past few years has blossomed back into the spotlight (most zombie-snobs look down on those who have recently fallen for zombie movies. I roll my eyes at them because of their snootiness).  Zombies never really went away, they instead just fell away from the main spotlight. Shaun of the Dead is part of what brought zombies back into that spotlight.

  Shaun of the Dead is full of references to horror works spanning the last 6 decades including 28 Days Later (voice on the radio talks about rabid monkeys, referencing this film), Dawn of the Dead, An American Werewolf in London (the grocery store Shaun gets ice cream from is called "Landis" after John Landis, the movie's director) just to name a few. I mean come on...Romero liked this movie so much that he had Simon Pegg and the director Edgar Wright cameo in his movie Land of the Dead.

There are so many cameos that every time I watch it I see someone else who looks familiar and I end up googling it until I figure out who they were. So I was completely floored when I spotted this fellow in the back.

Yeah that's Chris Martin of Coldplay right there on the right hand side, blue jeans and gray shirt. Tee hee.

  As someone who really hasn't been immersed in zombie movies (I refuse to watch Cannibal Holocaust, since I KNOW it will give me nightmares) this movie is completely enjoyable for anyone, not just someone seeking out pop culture references or zombie-political-correctness (you zombie snobs and your "zombie rules"). If you just want to watch a HORROR MOVIE or a COMEDY or a HORROR COMEDY or a ZOMBIE COMEDY this film suits all those needs perfectly well.

I think that you should see this movie.

Enough said. Go forth, young people. Enjoy the gore. I give you my blessing!



Favorite Friday: Starship Troopers is Full of Bug-Killing Awesomeness

Favorite Friday: Starship Troopers


This is.....CASPER!!! (van dien...)

Now now. I know that if a) you've seen this movie and you probably think its stupid or b) you have no idea what this movie is and/or you thought the title said "Super Troopers...."

either way you'll just click away....just know that if you do..........

You don't know what you're missing!!!!!

Still here? Good.

First, the plot.

The film takes place in a future time where the Earth and humans are under attack by aliens from another planet that are essentially giant "bugs." The story follows a few young people--the foremost being a gentleman by the name of Johnny Rico (played with acumen by Casper van Dien whom you'll recognize as Bram from Sleepy Hollow) ---and some of his fellow high school graduates as the join the military in order to become Citizens. Citizens basically enjoy all of the rights that we ourselves (that is US citizens here and now) have that Civilians do not have---voting, having children, ability to run for office, etc. So yeah. Basically it goes from there.



Neil Patrick Harris is a psychic who kills bugs....any questions?

 The first film (the one I am reviewing now...right now...the one you're reading about) is taken (very vaguely) from the pages of an award-winning book by the same name originally published in 1959. That being said, you should read the book too as it is very good. The film itself was actually nominated for an Oscar (Best Visual Effects 1998).

Take That!
I digress.

This movie is not just a shoot-em-up romp through the universe where the good guys kill the bad guys who just happen to be big arachnid things filled with goop. Its a mental movie. It makes you think. Okay it makes you think about bugs. But beyond that it really is an inflated, over-the-top action-flick satire of the world. The film alludes (in a haha poke fun kind of way) to Nazi-propaganda and Nazi military. The draw of military service in the film for most is that it enables you to be a "citizen" where you enjoy the rights: baby-making, voting etc. It's very fascist and very delicious. Watch it as a statement on class-conflict in militaristic societies.
It's very deep.


Looks like someone took a nerf ball and liquified it

But all of that aside.....forget all of that for just a second.

The movie. Is. Awesome.

 I mean come on now. It's about people killing giant bugs filled with various shades of goop.  There's action. There's suspense.There's ridiculous action sequences of suspense and gore with a man whose given name is Casper Van Dien (his parents hated him). There's Neil Patrick Harris in what has probably been his most normal role ever....which is weird. There's really awesome concentrating faces by Denise Richards.

My favorite thing about Starship Troopers is the over-the-top. I mean come on now. Giant bugs sending an asteroid to kill us? Seriously?  Using a teeny-tiny nuke like an RPG to blow up stuff? That's just silly. But look beyooooond the silly---see it? There is the awesome!! The movie is just a 50's version of Gears of War! SEE! ISN"T IT COOL!?  The only thing it's missing is some poor Carmine guy getting his head chopped off!

BUUUUUUUGS!

But you find yourself enjoying it. Rooting for us! The movie is a rollicky thrill ride of perpetual awesome. Because who doesn't like a good war movie? Do you dislike Saving Private Ryan? Or Black Hawk Down? Perhaps Inglorious Basterds? Platoon? Apocalypse Now? Well this movie is like all of those pretty much....just about bugs....and the future....yeah you get my point.



CONCENTRATING FACE!!!



Try it. See it as an art piece about how we are secretly inside---especially if we didn't care about offending the people we were fighting in a war. If it was PC to kill cockroaches because they looked like the people we were sending troops to kill. Maybe then this movie would really be about us instead of merely being make believe.

If anything just for the random naked scene (which the actors only agreed to do if the director and crew were all naked while filming it--which they were haha). Which sadly, I will not post here. I'm cool but obviously not that cool.

Movie Review: Ninja Assassin



GAAAAAAH!!!



I never saw this movie when it first came out because I don't like movies that suck.

I know, that's shocking.

I feel victim to the stereotype of these goofy, over-the-top, kungfu-esque films that are really just Americanized Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon wannabes.

However, I must say after having watched Ninja Assassin against my will (dad had the remote) I will eat my words.

That movie was awesome!

So, my review for Ninja Assassin.

The film is about an assassin name Raizo who escapes the ninja school that raised him from an orphan. In doing so he makes himself a prime target for their continued attempts to kick his butt. AWESOMELY.




On top of this, a young lady (of course there's a young lady) named Mika (played by Naomie Harris---she's the scary Jamaican lady from the 2nd and 3rd Pirates of the Caribbean movies or Selena from 28 Days Later) who gets a little too curious about the way some people have been murdered (throwing stars are effective, but conspicuous) and thus draws the attention of the bad-guy assassins. Thus Raizo (played by Korean actor, hip-hop singer, model and clothing designer Rain) swoops in to team up with her and save her butt and the day--killing people left and right all the way.

The only scarier Korean is Kim Jong-Il

Now. The basis for the awesomeness lies in the extremely effective method of the butt-kickery.  The people who wrote this movie obviously really enjoyed planning out the fight scenes. It's like a pack of 13-year-old boys who got a 50 million dollar budget to fill out their every violent ninja video game dream.



No.


This movie is like 10x more gruesome than I expected. I was expecting Street Fighter PG-13 violence (movie, not video game). Sad goofy half fake kill shots and completely ridiculous fake blood gizmos topped off with stupid dialogue and overly choreographed fight scenes.

No.



HI!

 Big fat slashy slashy. Completely awesome acrobatics combined with concise CGI graphics. The ninjas melt out of the shadows, throwing stars falling like rain as they go. I mean hundreds of them. And the guy has this big chain thing that he uses like a freakin' Indiana Jones on crack. And people get hurt. This isn't like James Bond or whatever where projectiles are flying and he mysteriously only gets a scratch. Dude gets chunks taken out of him. A lot. People get their heads chopped off ---at one point some guy gets chopped in half and his top half goes flying into the wall. Seriously.  Heads explode. Arms fly. Blood splatters (its CGI, so its ridiculously over-the-top, but in a fun way) willy-nilly. It's great.

The only real issue with the movie (and it is not really an issue ALL the time) is that the dialogue is rather wooden and the plot is somewhat thin. However, let me remind you. This is an action movie. Thus its not really meant to blow your mind with plot twists and dun dun duuuun moments.

The film is fun. It's a roller coaster of betrayal, violence, love, death and throwing stars.  Like a Six Flags of awesome.

See my movie. Or I will find you.

It's not Schindler's List but it certainly beats out a bunch of the other movies I've seen (Elektra, Street Fighter) of the Martial Arts genre of action movies. Definitely try it out, if you hunger for butt-kicking it shall certainly deliver.

Favorite Friday #3: Excalibur

I love this poster.

For those out there reading my posts, I truly appreciate you! Let me know you're out there with a comment or email! I'm always open for suggestions and opinions, let me know about your ideas!

FAVORITE FRIDAY!!!

Today's fantastic feature film for Friday feasting: Excalibur!!

Excalibur is in my opinion the best version of the King Arthur story on film. Many would say "but what about King Arthur with Clive Owen?" NO! Guinevere did not cover herself in blue finger paint."But what about First Knight?" Richard Gere trying to talk with English accent is FAR too distracting.

There are no other really good live action King Arthur films worth mentioning here beyond a musical or two.

Nope. Excalibur is as close to the original fairy tale/legion of Morte D'Arthur by Thomas Malory as any film I've seen worth any salt. On top of that the movie is actually a good movie.

Their prop master must have been pissed: look at all the mud!

Now everyone knows the Arthurian legend, at least to some degree, so I don't really need to go over the plot to the film. I know it's always a concern when movies come out about stories that have been done a million times that they're boring or overdone or trying to be original or whatever. That being said, what I really like about Excalibur is how new it feels without being too different from the King Arthur stories we all know and love. Don't misunderstand, they don't make up things and add in new stuff (like in King Arthur(2004)--trying to make the square peg of Arthurian legend fit into the round hole of written roman/Briton history *rolls eyes*). It's merely the actual old story with awesome 80's over-the-top film-making. The same special effects that made the Conan movies fan-favorites. Huge messy, dirty, bloody fighting scenes where you have to squint to make sure that yes that IS Patrick Stewart under all that dirt and blood fighting with a big sword. No slo-mo, close up on hero's face with hair flipping as he spins around to look at the battle-field carnage. Nope! We've got something 10X better!!! Gross, "we're ruining the suits of armor" sets, unabashedly bloody battle scenes involving severed limbs and other delectably fake movie-carnage. Knowing what happens helps you appreciate the finer details of the film--like coming back to look at a picture on a wall for a second time.

Helen Mirren as Morgana--she was smokin'!

Now I mentioned Patrick Stewart, which brings me to another point. These aren't unknown actors, playing these characters. These are modern day heavy weights portraying characters like Gawain (Liam Neeson), Morgana (Helen Mirren), Leondegrance (Patrick Stewart), Lot (Ciaran Hinds), and King Uther Pendragon (Gabriel Byrne). While virtually un-cultified at this point (Neeson would later have roles in Taken (2008), Batman Begins (2005), and Gangs of New York (2002); Mirren
in Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999), The Queen (2006), and Red (2010); Stewart in "Star Trek: The Next Generation" (1987-94) and the X-Men films ; Hinds in HBO's Rome (2005-07), Munich (2005), and Miami Vice (2006); Byrne in Assault on Precinct 13 (2005), End of Days (1999), and The Man in the Iron Mask (1998)), these actors are recognizable film figures today. As Hollywood and stage contenders (Nicol Williamson, who played Merlin, was a huge stage actor though he was notable as Coliostro in Spawn (1997)) these actors brought weight to the film, illuminating the otherwise unknown actors (though Byrne and Nieson were fairly unknown at the time).

Clay and Boorman as Lancelot and Guinevere

As for the remaining cast-- just because the other cast members, most notably all the leading roles Arthur, Guinevere, Lancelot, Mordred, aren't anyone incredibly famous doesn't mean they suck. Because they don't. These actors realize that this film would be their crowning glory (pun intended) and so they act their hearts out--to great effect. Nigel Terry as Arthur, Katrina Boorman as Guinevere and Nicholas Clay as Lancelot create the perfect chemistry, artistry and tragic drama one would expect with Camelot's royal love triangle. It's just magic to watch.

Nigel Terry as King Arthur

It goes without saying that I love this movie. Give it a try and I'm sure you'll love it as much as I do.  It's a fairy tale for grown ups that always satisfies my desire for fantasy, metal on metal action and tragic drama. Enjoy!

Film Review:Innocent Blood

So I love Big Lots. I love it because no matter how bad of a day I've had, I can wander in there and find something I've been looking for at an extremely reasonable price.

Today it was toothpaste--but I also found this FANTASTIC FILM!!!

Innocent Blood (1992) starring Anthony LaPaglia and Anne Parillaud.

This movie is something new to me because *cue music* I've never heard of it before. Which is utterly shocking!! Not only should I have heard of this movie merely for the fact that so many famous people are crammed into it--the film is also funny and icky!

Robert Loggia as Sal the Shark---slightly dead

The plot centers around a lonely, hungry lady vampire--played by Anne Parillaud--who takes a bite out of a couple of gangsters in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania. Unfortunately she doesn't "finish" and the mob boss (Robert Loggia=awesome bad guy vampire) turns into another vampire and proceeds to wreak havoc across the city. Anthony LaPaglia plays an undercover cop going after the mob boss and who goes in with the lady to kill the monster mob boss.

The film is directed by the ever-satisfying John Landis (of An American Werewolf in London fame). With his hands on the script come certain expectations---which I must say are met. With Landis' other films (and the Thriller music video) there is a series amount of awesome make-up and special effects. I was utterly satisfied; the vampire special effects are spectacular--I like them a lot more than the Underworld special effects and those movies came out almost 15 years later!

Anne Parillaud as Marie the Vampire (awesome contacts!)

The contact lenses are especially fantastic (trust me---you'll notice them; I'm still trying to figure out how he did that trick).  There are some thrills, great gore---it's highly entertaining to watch the petite and pretty Anne Parrilaud killing great big gangsters. Landis also has great street cred as a humorist (Coming to America (1988), Animal House (1978), Blues Brothers (1980)---all great funny movies). The film is truly funny--lots of one-liners, situational comedy and great sight gags. My favorite is right near the beginning, where Marie (Anne Parillaud) is discussing being hungry while flipping through a newspaper. She comes across an article about mobster murders and says: "I was sad, I was starved. It was time to treat myself. Then I though - "What about... Italian!"

The film is entertaining, funny and really a perfectly satisfying date movie for the vampire/gore enthusiasts. I heartly recommend it for anyone looking for a great film.

Favorite Friday #1: American Psycho

I'm here today to start the fabulous tradition of
FAVORITE FRIDAYS
It's a section of my blog where I will include and suggest fabulous films that have managed to find their way into my collection.
Today's selection:
American Psycho: Uncut Edition

A certain Bret Easton Ellis enthusiast suggested this film to me about three years ago. Christian Bale (his recent Batman fame aside) is an actor in my personal high regard, ever since I first saw him in the film adaptation of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999). I was of course twelve years old when American Psycho was released a year later and thus I wouldn't have been allowed to see it (rolls eyes) until more recently.

I've added this film to my list of favorites because of a few reasons:

1) It's creepy

2) It makes you think

3) Its creepy

When I first started watching the film for the first time I was sceptical, since my only real experience of Christian Bale was him in Newsies and the aforementioned Shakespeare. But it was after this film that I really began to enjoy him as a true stage presence

This film is diabolical.

Bateman's actions are centered around a desperate need to subscribe to the environment he is in as a means to hide his rather murderous night-time behavior.  What's really fascinating is not particularly Bateman's behavior, but the near-constant ignorance those around him have of that behavior. His yuppie lifestyle perfectly coalesces with his murderous doings: days full of pouring over the price tag attached to business cards and upscale dinner reservations meander into evenings of immense bloodshed. You find yourself hoping the horrible situation won't play out like it is going to--almost cheering for his victims: someone please notice what's going on, please see the trail of blood through the lobby, or the shape of the bag with a dead body in it instead of the brand name of the bag itself.

My personal favorite aspect of the film is the connection between creepy/awful/gory moments of the film with 80's music, Phil Collins, Huey Lewis, Whitney Houston. It makes the film a horror thriller like the piano music does in the Halloween movies: when you hear it you just know Michael Myers is going to come out of the woodwork somewhere.

The reason you should see this movie is because if you've ever gotten tired of horror/thriller films that follow the same formula of bad guy+good guy=dead people and lame cliff hanger ending this is definitely the film to see. 

Rent it. Buy it. It will be one of your favorites soon as well!

Legion Review

I enjoy angels. I've read Sandman and Lucifer, I cried at Michael (1996) and saw that weird Paul Hogan movie that came out after Crocodile Dundee II (1988). I enjoy bad ass things with wings. And somehow the idea of angels with weapons other than flaming swords while admittedly unorthodox (pun slightly intended) is potentially cool. So when I saw Legion was coming out this year I was intrigued.

The plot has potential: apparently God has lost faith in humanity and has sent his legions of angels to possess weak willed humans to kill humanity's one last hope that is currently growing in the womb of an unwed mother (Adrianne Palicki) in the middle of the Mojave Desert in Nevada. *inhale* Michael (Paul Bettany) the archangel still has faith and cut his wings off and found a bunch of big guns and is helping the really important baby be born despite being told not to by his brother archangel Gabriel (Kevin Durand).

From an action movie stand point this film is entertaining. Lots of guns, scary jump moments (kind of) and some icky scenes involving bugs and blood. The film is also really pretty and obviously had a pretty decent budget. I like the filters that are used to shoot the desert scenes and I think the CGI was completely awesome. A ton better than the angel-stuff in Constantine(2005). The gore presence was small but focused. They use it in the correct places, like when a dude gets his back melted down to the spinal cord (wicked awesome) with angel acid and a possessed lady bites a chunk out of somebody etc. And again, the premise is really promising. I like that the film isn't just another "Satan versus God" shtick. It really does put a new-er spin on things and adds a breath of fresh air to the newly re-popularized end-of-the-world movie fascination in the US.

However, my problem with this film is how little time it spent on the angels. I mean their costumes in the film are totally cool and the CGI wings (bullet proof and really sharp apparently) are totally bad ass. But they spend a ton of time on the people in the film and not nearly enough on humanity through God's and the angels' eyes. They dwell on it vaguely through the eyes of a jerk cop (who then proceeds to fake-shoot a bunch of homeless people) but don't really give us God's story on why all the sudden humanity isn't worth it. What was the breaking point? What was the last straw? How do all the other angels feel about this? Can we meet some of them? Show us the beginning of time where Michael begins to love humanity. Show us more Gabriel/Michael arguments. More than just gun fights etc. Throughout the whole film I feel like I'm party to a story that happened just before I walked into the room. It's rather distracting and is borderline confusing.  I love back story in films and wish there was more to this one.

Then there is the ending. I guess that Hollywood has run out of endings for movies involving the apocalypse. Terminator (1984) anyone?  I mean come on! The film ends with a woman with a baby in the front seat of a car driving in the desert. She's even wearing a bandanna!

 That on top of the fact that the girl spends about 80% of the film arguing with a guy who 1) comes from a different plane (Kyle Reese was from the future, Michael from Heaven) she wields several guns none of which she could have just instantaneously learned how to use 3) fights a giant dude who can't be killed with weapons like a M16. I mean Gabriel is so obviously Arnold's character from Terminator (right down to Gabriel's weird Heaven-ese accent) that Legion's director Scott Charles Stewart should be paying James Cameron royalties. *sigh*

In the end I'm really glad I didn't see this movie in theaters because I would have felt like I'd spent WAAAY too much money. But it is a definite rent or watch on demand, I wouldn't buy it on DVD or Blue-Ray. The film is certainly entertaining but is bland and unoriginal enough to prevent my clearing a space on the shelf for it.

Crossed: Family Values #1

Let me tell you something about Brits and their apocalypic fascination. For some reason people from the British Isles love to discuss the end of the world. Whether it is Alan Moore (Watchmen), Alex Garland (28 Days Later), Neil Marshall (Doomsday), Terry Hayes (Mad Max 2, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome), and Garth Ennis (Crossed), British people love to talk about the end of the world.

So when I picked up the first Crossed issue after seeing an ad for it in Avatar back in 2008, I knew I was in for an end of the world shtick.

I was not, however, prepared for what Garth Ennis had in store for me. The man must have seen something extremely traumatizing as a child....the dude obviously has issues.  The depravity became addictive and the story told through the horror was engrossing.

Granted, the Zombie angle has been gone over and over, especially in the past few years as the Zombie Renaissance has emerged. "Zombies that are still alive" has been done with 28 Days Later, so its not a totally new angle, but Ennis does a good job keeping you turning the page with a wince, expecting a new level of gross that you just can't help but gawk at.

So now the torch has passed to Eisner-award winning David Lapham.

First things first:
Don't worry, the creepy horrible-ness has not been lost in the author transfer.  Lapham is a gifted story teller and the level of depravity has not lessened with his hands at the wheel.

What I like about the book is that it is really a study on different levels of horror. Lapham makes you chose whom to hate more, those not infected with the Crossed Plague and those who are infected. Lapham draws you in and I think Avatar did a great job picking him.

What I find somewhat troublesome is the switch between artists. I thoroughly enjoyed Jacen Burrows approach to the extremely gory scenes (the horse penis and the legless and armless guy being prime examples of his skill in horror). I am not sure if I like Javier Barreno as much as Burrows. His drawings seem more flat and less detailed (yes, I looked for detail in my gore. so do you, shut up).  I will however give him the benefit of the doubt.


All in all its a good book and a definate must-read for the gore-enthusiast.
I await the next issue eagerly.