Anywho.
A Treatise on Halloween's Awesomeness
I'm weird. I like skeletons. I don't look away when they draw blood from my arm. I read ghost stories. I like gore and guts and big scary men with weird faces stabbing people. I like tinkly scary music. I enjoy cool crisp air augmented with the smell of burning leaves. I adore apple cider. I enjoy having an excuse to cuddle on the couch because I'm scared of the movie. My house is notorious for its kick ass candy selection. Cinnamon, nutmeg and pumpkin are some of my preferred spices. I like having nighttime longer than daytime. I relish being able to be outside for more than five minutes without getting a mosquito bite.
What does this add up to, ladies and gentlemen?
Halloween Rocks. End of Class.
Still here? Oh. Well I guess I better give you some notes.
Now let me get this across as simply and as organized as possible.5 Reasons Why Halloween should take up half the calendar rather than Christmas:
1) Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkins
2) Shopping is Fun
3) It's Nice Outside
4) Something for Everyone
5) Good Clean Fun
Halloween shopping is not like this. This...is evil |
2) Shopping during Halloween isn't stressful. It's FUN! What do you shop for during Halloween? Candy, Costumes and Decorations. It's chill. It's quiet. And most of the time you're surrounded by people who are as weird if not weirder than you are so there is little societal pressure to compete. Even if you wait until the last minute to buy a costume, the hustle and bustle of a costume shop is more to hurry towards a fun party or something instead of "I NEED THAT TOY SO MY DAUGHTER WILL KNOW I LOVE HER." It's a childlike enthusiasm to have fun and therefore---at least in my mind---its more genuine and worthwhile. The shopping season (which all things considered couldn't mean anything else but Christmas) for other holidays simply can't compete with Halloween.
...... |
3) Look outside. It is 72 degrees outside. There is a slight breeze that rustles through the autumn leaves that have just really started to fall to the ground in earnest. The sun is surrounded by a seemingly everlasting robin's egg blue sky. As daylight eases into night the crisp smell of forthcoming cold surrounds you. Leaves crackle and whisper as a chilly breeze blows. A toasty fire sounds like a good idea to you. Maybe wearing socks to bed or having a cup of warm cinnamon or pumpkin flavored beverage. No longer present is the incessant buzz of insects or the near constant chirp of birds. Instead the rustle to and fro of squirrels is all you hear, running up and across tree limbs securing fodder and lodging for when the temperature drops further. Pumpkins begin to appear everywhere: gas stations, grocery stores, porch steps and hay bales. You find an curious desire to carve one into a face, make it leer or grin at unsuspecting children. Skeletons laugh from trees and flower beds. Witches hang from tree limbs and bed sheet ghosts are draped over bushes and hedges. Cider sounds delicious now. And pies being to materialize on counters everywhere; pumpkin, pecan, apple and sweet potato.
This is why Halloween rocks. Well there you go, people. Enjoy your holiday because unfortunately these days Halloween and Thanksgiving rarely get more than a passing glance before the looming season of Christmas begins. Be safe and HAVE FUN!