Favorite Friday: Cobra=Stallone Makes Everything Better

I'll have you know....I am a girl. DO NOT RUN!

But if you didn't know that about me (besides being concerned with whether or not PMS affects my decisions concerning movie choice) you probably wouldn't think my obsession with all things creepy, crawly and in the case of this particular post slurred and full of brooklyn accent was all that weird.

But I'm still a girl. And I'm not going to go all "glass ceiling" on you. Well I will, but I'll be breaking the glass ceiling with a nice .38 special with a pretty pink grip on it. Because I'm a girl. Get it?

Anyway, when I tell people that my favorite Sylvester Stallone movie is Cobra they look at me blankly for a few seconds before going "really?" That is if they even know what movie I'm talking about.

tee hee

 For you see Cobra is not critically appreciated movie. It isn't a fan favorite or cult classic. It isn't even really all that well known. When I found it in BIG LOTS on DVD for 3$, well....I think that I found it at BIG LOTS for 3$ is enough of an explanation. 

Why do I like it, do you ask? Because it's ridiculous and AWESOME! Stallone (at his cutest, which is saying a lot) plays an LAPD officer named Marion Cobretti in his totally awesome mirrored cop sunglasses (I have a pair because of this movie, btw) goes around Los Angeles killing bad guys with a big fat gun (toting Cobra handguns which I wanted desperately and couldn't understand why my mom wouldn't buy them for me) and chewing on a match the entire time. Because that is the definition of badass. Did I mention that Stallone originally wrote this as the script to Beverly Hills Cop? Once you see this movie, imagine the Eddie Murphy laugh coming out around a chewed-on match.  I digress.

Brian Thompson = jawline of doom!



Brigitte Nielsen (who shortly before this film had married Mr. Stallone, which may or may not have had something to do with her casting....you know her as the tall blond who made out with Flavor Flav all the time on VH1) is on the naughty list of a creepy gang of supremacists helmed by a knife-happy Brian Thompson (he was the punk Arnold took the clothes from in the first Terminator movie). They're trying to kill her because she saw them do something bad and supremacist-y. So of course Cobretti or nickname "Cobra" has to keep her safe and .....bada bing...romantic interest and then well it kind of goes on from there.

I like to think a man would carry a gun around like that to protect me.



The film is not Schindler's List okay? It's an action flick full of delicious 80s drama and gun toting with sweaty scary headband wearing bad guys. It's like Karate Kid minus heartwarming tale....and with lots and lots of guns. And murder.

However, the film is fun! You don't need to have your mind challenged to be truely enjoy watching Stallone wander about being badass. And the perfectly creepy and slightly Schwarzenegger-esque Thompson is definitely worth dealing with Stallone making out with his wife during the whole movie. Ew.

Give the movie a chance and to be honest with you I don't forsee you disliking it all that much if at all. It's a perfectly enjoyable film, just don't expect yourself to become intellectually bettered by watching it---which isn't all that different than watching G.I. Joe or whatever. I like action movies, even ones with little or no plot. And to be honest with you watching Stallone beat the crap out of people makes me feel better about my day!

enjoy!!

PS: Got a movie you want me to watch? Disagree with me? Let me know! Comment on my Facebook or right here on my blog! I'll be happy to reply!!