Legion Review

I enjoy angels. I've read Sandman and Lucifer, I cried at Michael (1996) and saw that weird Paul Hogan movie that came out after Crocodile Dundee II (1988). I enjoy bad ass things with wings. And somehow the idea of angels with weapons other than flaming swords while admittedly unorthodox (pun slightly intended) is potentially cool. So when I saw Legion was coming out this year I was intrigued.

The plot has potential: apparently God has lost faith in humanity and has sent his legions of angels to possess weak willed humans to kill humanity's one last hope that is currently growing in the womb of an unwed mother (Adrianne Palicki) in the middle of the Mojave Desert in Nevada. *inhale* Michael (Paul Bettany) the archangel still has faith and cut his wings off and found a bunch of big guns and is helping the really important baby be born despite being told not to by his brother archangel Gabriel (Kevin Durand).

From an action movie stand point this film is entertaining. Lots of guns, scary jump moments (kind of) and some icky scenes involving bugs and blood. The film is also really pretty and obviously had a pretty decent budget. I like the filters that are used to shoot the desert scenes and I think the CGI was completely awesome. A ton better than the angel-stuff in Constantine(2005). The gore presence was small but focused. They use it in the correct places, like when a dude gets his back melted down to the spinal cord (wicked awesome) with angel acid and a possessed lady bites a chunk out of somebody etc. And again, the premise is really promising. I like that the film isn't just another "Satan versus God" shtick. It really does put a new-er spin on things and adds a breath of fresh air to the newly re-popularized end-of-the-world movie fascination in the US.

However, my problem with this film is how little time it spent on the angels. I mean their costumes in the film are totally cool and the CGI wings (bullet proof and really sharp apparently) are totally bad ass. But they spend a ton of time on the people in the film and not nearly enough on humanity through God's and the angels' eyes. They dwell on it vaguely through the eyes of a jerk cop (who then proceeds to fake-shoot a bunch of homeless people) but don't really give us God's story on why all the sudden humanity isn't worth it. What was the breaking point? What was the last straw? How do all the other angels feel about this? Can we meet some of them? Show us the beginning of time where Michael begins to love humanity. Show us more Gabriel/Michael arguments. More than just gun fights etc. Throughout the whole film I feel like I'm party to a story that happened just before I walked into the room. It's rather distracting and is borderline confusing.  I love back story in films and wish there was more to this one.

Then there is the ending. I guess that Hollywood has run out of endings for movies involving the apocalypse. Terminator (1984) anyone?  I mean come on! The film ends with a woman with a baby in the front seat of a car driving in the desert. She's even wearing a bandanna!

 That on top of the fact that the girl spends about 80% of the film arguing with a guy who 1) comes from a different plane (Kyle Reese was from the future, Michael from Heaven) she wields several guns none of which she could have just instantaneously learned how to use 3) fights a giant dude who can't be killed with weapons like a M16. I mean Gabriel is so obviously Arnold's character from Terminator (right down to Gabriel's weird Heaven-ese accent) that Legion's director Scott Charles Stewart should be paying James Cameron royalties. *sigh*

In the end I'm really glad I didn't see this movie in theaters because I would have felt like I'd spent WAAAY too much money. But it is a definite rent or watch on demand, I wouldn't buy it on DVD or Blue-Ray. The film is certainly entertaining but is bland and unoriginal enough to prevent my clearing a space on the shelf for it.