Loaded Bible:Book I

I found Loaded Bible Book I: The 'Jesus VS. Vampires' Gospels in my local comic book shop a week ago. My eyes locked onto the cover and I saw "Jesus V. Vampires" from across the room...it was like a scene out of Chariots of Fire. Angelic music tickles off stage and just a little extra light shown down from the florescent lights, illuminating the cover. It seemed to me as if time slowed down and as my feet shuffled excitedly across the linoleum it felt like I was moving at light speed towards my destiny.

I must admit, I had never heard of this before I saw the collected volume in the store. The series originally came out annually between 2006-2008. The back cover lists the book as "An Action Packed Sacrilegious Satire." I admit I felt slightly worried when I read that: I don't really care for blatant satire all that much, mainly because it tends to be a bit top-heavy in the story and is rarely worth the 15$ I'll spend to read it.

As I flipped through the book in the store however, I appreciated the art, the smattering of gore and some good old fashioned violence that I saw inside. These facets mollified me enough to want to give it a chance and I carried the tome to the register and cried "wrap it up!"

Inside I found some wonderful things, the first of which being: Jesus isn't lame...he is hardcore. I enjoy religion in comic books, especially when someone intelligent realizes that when you make fun of something you should at least write it well. But Seeley isn't really making fun of Jesus, which is the best part. He's making fun of everything else.

Jesus is to post-apocalyptic Earth like Batman is to Gotham. He's what is needed, not what is wanted. He is strong and smart and hard-core while being kind, faithful in God and a good person. He kills the evil vampires with such strength and prowess (and not to mention entirely satisfying blood and guts associated with a giant claymore/cross sword) that it really does a credit to the Christian faith that he's been given a license to kill. Totally awesome.

Then there is the story. It's actually good, well-rounded and funny. This isn't just a Wyatt Earp fantasy with Jesus inserted with a smattering of "we'll make fun of the stupid Jesus people har har."  The story doesn't make fun of Christianity by calling it names and pulling it's hair; it points out what Christianity really is about: having faith in humanity and in God. And its funny! Funny not because it's Jesus doing what he's doing but because Jesus is actually funny!

The plot revolves around a post-apocalyptic Jesus and his fight to rid the world of the evil vampires that have taken over.  It's a futuristic, wild-west vampires vs. humans shoot-em up with a message. It's even got some romance (covered in blood of course) and a perfectly evil bad-guy and a really good twist half-way through. It's not too slow, not to fast, easy to follow and not boring at all.

I'm really quite proud of Tim Seeley for writing this the way he did. He could have gone a completely different way and ruined the whole thing, but the way Jesus has been represented didn't insult me at all. It made me smile and be proud that my God could be modernized so appropriately.

It's totally worth the money I paid for it and I'll probably read it again after I publish this post. Awesome to the extreme. Go Jesus!